Daily Express headlines - in the style of haiku

End of the road for speed cameras?

Fining people for
breaking the law is bad
when it affects me


Convicts hug a tree to go free

This headline is
factually incorrect
but never mind right?


'Sex on beach' Briton sorry

What a slut, I
am now in favour of Dubai's
awful Shariah law


Tories attack 'U-turn' over victims

Cameron to Brown:
Damned if you do and
damned even if you don't.


Top knife crime officer: teenagers must do national service

Violent teens? Put them
in the Army. Its the stock
answer to all ills.


95% of Express readers say 'quit EU'

Stand in awe as we
show you the art of stating
the bleeding obvious


OK, that's enough haiku for today.