Tory Party Election Slogans

Because I feel it is my civic duty, as a good citizen-to-be, I have come up with several dozen slogans the Tories can use to secure victory in 2010. Additionally, to keep them down with the kids and their crazy internet lingo, I have added a special 4chan meme-slogan compendium at the end of this list.

• “Tories: We won’t fix things but we’ll give it a shiny coat of paint!”
• “Vote Conservative: Who knows when the next time we’re going to look so appealing will be?”
• “Vote Conservative: After the last 13 years of this shit, your standards really can't afford to be all that high.”
• “Tories: let us play the Good Cop for once.”
• “Unhappy with the status quo? Tough shit. Suck it up and vote Conservative.”
• “The Conservative Party: A Better Class of Sex Scandal.”
• “Vote Tory: It Will Make Polly Toynbee mad.”
• “Tories: We’re not competent either, but at least we might sell you out to someone who is!”
• “Vote Conservative. If you can’t hold your own nose, we’ll deduct the cost of a clothespin from your wages.”
• “Vote Conservative: We promise to keep Iain Dale away from anything important.”
• “Tories: Shit is better than Radioactive Waste.”
• “Vote Tory: I’m serious, like when will the Lib Dems will ever do anything?”
• “Tories: because money-grabbing opportunists are STILL better than well-meaning psychopaths.”
• “Vote Conservative, before we forget how to do corruption properly.”
• “Tories: The Other Rich Elite!”
• “Vote Tory! What Did Having A Conscience Ever Do For You?”
• “Tories: We’re marginally less likely to march the whole country down the slow road to becoming Airstrip One.”
• “Conservative Party: When You Like Freedom, But Don’t Like, Like Freedom.”
• “Tories: Like you have a choice anyway, so just shut up and vote.”
• “Tories: Because you want to believe there’s a difference.”
• “Vote Tory! Like you’d really want Gordon Brown to listen up on your phone calls?”
• “If you’re ready for slightly less of the same, vote Tory.”
• “Tories: With us in power, Labour will be outraged by civil rights violations again!”
• “Vote Tory: You may as well, now that Sarkozy has won in France!”

And now, the 4chan/meme-speak version:

• “A Conservative PM Is Fine, Too.”
• "Vote Conservative: A winnar is you!”
• “Bitches Don't Know Bout Our Amazing Policies.”
• “Vote Conservative, and receive a delicious cake!”
• “Gordon Brown: DO NOT WANT.”
• “Vote for Cameron: he has a shuvel.”
• “Tories: WE'RE A CHARGING OUR LAZORS!”
• “Tories: Political Hate Machine.”
• “Voting Labour? ITS A TRAP!”
• “Gordon Brown? Not this shit again.”
• “i think david cameron is a pretty cool guy. eh isn't gordon brown doesn't afraid of anything.”
• “Vote Tory: We'll even put shoes on our heads if you ask us.”
• “Voting Labour? YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.”
• “Vote Cameron: He'll stick it in your pooper.”
• “Where is your socialist paradise now?”

And last, but most certainly not least: