Aug 15, 2008

Tory Party Election Slogans

Because I feel it is my civic duty, as a good citizen-to-be, I have come up with several dozen slogans the Tories can use to secure victory in 2010. Additionally, to keep them down with the kids and their crazy internet lingo, I have added a special 4chan meme-slogan compendium at the end of this list.

  • “Tories: We won’t fix things but we’ll give it a shiny coat of paint!”
  • “Vote Conservative: Who knows when the next time we’re going to look so appealing will be?”
  • “Vote Conservative: After the last 13 years of this shit, your standards really can't afford to be all that high.”
  • “Tories: let us play the Good Cop for once.”
  • “Unhappy with the status quo? Tough shit. Suck it up and vote Conservative.”
  • “The Conservative Party: A Better Class of Sex Scandal.”
  • “Vote Tory: It Will Make Polly Toynbee mad.”
  • “Tories: We’re not competent either, but at least we might sell you out to someone who is!”
  • “Vote Conservative. If you can’t hold your own nose, we’ll deduct the cost of a clothespin from your wages.”
  • “Vote Conservative: We promise to keep Iain Dale away from anything important.”
  • “Tories: Shit is better than Radioactive Waste.”
  • “Vote Tory: I’m serious, like when will the Lib Dems will ever do anything?”
  • “Tories: because money-grabbing opportunists are STILL better than well-meaning psychopaths.”
  • “Vote Conservative, before we forget how to do corruption properly.”
  • “Tories: The Other Rich Elite!”
  • “Vote Tory! What Did Having A Conscience Ever Do For You?”
  • “Tories: We’re marginally less likely to march the whole country down the slow road to becoming Airstrip One.”
  • “Conservative Party: When You Like Freedom, But Don’t Like, Like Freedom.”
  • “Tories: Like you have a choice anyway, so just shut up and vote.”
  • “Tories: Because you want to believe there’s a difference.”
  • “Vote Tory! Like you’d really want Gordon Brown to listen up on your phone calls?”
  • “If you’re ready for slightly less of the same, vote Tory.”
  • “Tories: With us in power, Labour will be outraged by civil rights violations again!”
  • “Vote Tory: You may as well, now that Sarkozy has won in France!”

And now, the 4chan/meme-speak version:

And last, but most certainly not least:

No comments: