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But I did, so there.
Encyclopedia Dramatica's take on the South Ossetian crisis.
In particular, the reference to Dmitry Medvedev as "Putin's altar boy" probably made me wake up the neighbours. Some prescient commentary, hidden among the cursing, memes and general mocking.
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Aug 12, 2008
Aug 7, 2008
Surprise! The Daily Mail is in favour of Feudalism.
No, really. This is getting beyond parody now. The Daily Mail must be charged with killing satire and fucking the corpse.
Aside from the cows, there isn't much in the way of traffic here. There is a bus service, but it comes only once a week and goes as far as the bright lights of Blandford Forum. If you find yourself here for no reason, you are well and truly lost.
The traditional cliche for pretty little villages such as this is 'sleepy'. But there's nothing bleary-eyed about the Dorset backwater of Chettle.
This is a village which defies every statistic and market trend. It has zero unemployment. Its businesses are booming. It has no problem with outsiders buying up second homes - because they are simply not allowed. Rents are way below the market rate.
This is the village the credit crunch forgot. Young couples are not driven out by property prices and there are as many children (22) as there are pensioners.
Everyone knows everyone and crime is virtually non-existent. The last intruder was driven off by a lady pensioner with a pick-axe handle. So what is Chettle's secret? The answer is enough to make a sociologist or a Labour MP weep.
For the past 1,000 years, this entire village and all the land around it - every last square inch of it - have been owned and controlled by the lord of the manor. And that is just how everybody likes it.
Apr 11, 2008
The best single statement on the Olympics business
And sadly, I am fully aware of the irony of that sign. I can only hope it is satire....
Feb 23, 2008
The common failing of all would-be political agitators
“Centurion, why do they titter so?”
“Just some...uh, Jewish joke, sir.”
- The Life of Brian
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
- Voltaire
I've noticed something of a trend when it comes to politics. And that is that people think they can use half-assed political slogans along with some pathetic emotional appeal to try and sway peoples opinions. For example, look at the common refrain from the morons at Democratic Underground: “Bush lied, people died.”
OK, it is pretty much true, as a trend. If we take the name Bush to cover his administration appointments, including those in the Office of Special Plans (who doctored evidence in the run up to the Iraq war), you have a case. But does just mindlessly shouting it across the political debating forums of the internet actually convince anyone to forego their support of the Administration? I'd be very surprised if it did. Rather, it makes the supporters of the pro-abortion War Party look almost as mindless as the supporters of the anti-abortion War Party, which puts off any freethinking individual and reduces both sides to shouting pre-made soundbites at each other. I mean, really. You could script robots to do this shit.
And its not just in America. Anywhere there is someone who is, on the face of it, is pretty much a complete and utter asshole, those who dislike them try to paint them as Satan incarnate. It doesn't matter if this is Hugo Chavez, Putin or Blair. Same reasoning applies, show them to be powerful, yet utterly evil.
Does anyone actually fall for that shit? Really?
Because to me, it looks like those on the other side are just affirming the power of the person they hate, from an opposite direction. Powerful people will always have vocal supporters, simply because being on side with those in power has many rewards. The moral character, or lack of it, is rarely questioned along the entire political spectrum, what with people being convinced their own political ideology is the only moral one.
Lets face it, if you really want to cut someone down to size, you have to make them a figure of fun.
Its the only antidote to emotionally fuelled political debate, which is 90% of all debate nowadays. Instead of affirming the object of your dislike is powerful, you portray him as a bumbling fool. You highlight the hilarious inconsistencies in their thinking, and you then convince people around you to laugh at them. Never directly engage in so-called debates on the pros and cons of any given policy, instead concentrate on using those policies as ammunition against that person.
I know what you're going to say. “But people have already tried this Cain, and it hasn't worked.” Well I disagree, they haven't tried hard enough. Look at those ridiculous Bushisms people, for example. The book turned from halfway amusing into textual analysis of policy in about 10 pages. There was no cutting edge to it, there was no satire. It was just the idiotic sayings of a man who commanded the world's most powerful military. The world has seen Caligula's before now. The only way they laughed at them is in a helpless “well, we're fucked now” way. There was no opposition, no defiance.
There is an old American proverb, “use your wit as a shield, and not as a dagger.” Its one I totally disagree with. Use your wit precisely as you would a dagger. Back in the bad old days of the Hashishin, an acolyte would be given only a dagger, to make a public execution of the cult's enemies. Almost always, they struck in the most public place possible, in the most public way possible. Friday, outside the mosque, with everyone watching.
That is exactly the attitude a competent political agitator should take. If you can't mock them to their face, perhaps you should take up a safer past time, like jogging? Cut them down to size. Make them a figure of ridicule. Try to move outside party based bullshit, make their supporters look like idiots by association.
A person who is widely considered a laughing stock is not going to command respect, regardless of how much power they have. And in an age where substance is nothing and image is everything, in such an age, humour is king.
“Just some...uh, Jewish joke, sir.”
- The Life of Brian
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
- Voltaire
I've noticed something of a trend when it comes to politics. And that is that people think they can use half-assed political slogans along with some pathetic emotional appeal to try and sway peoples opinions. For example, look at the common refrain from the morons at Democratic Underground: “Bush lied, people died.”
OK, it is pretty much true, as a trend. If we take the name Bush to cover his administration appointments, including those in the Office of Special Plans (who doctored evidence in the run up to the Iraq war), you have a case. But does just mindlessly shouting it across the political debating forums of the internet actually convince anyone to forego their support of the Administration? I'd be very surprised if it did. Rather, it makes the supporters of the pro-abortion War Party look almost as mindless as the supporters of the anti-abortion War Party, which puts off any freethinking individual and reduces both sides to shouting pre-made soundbites at each other. I mean, really. You could script robots to do this shit.
And its not just in America. Anywhere there is someone who is, on the face of it, is pretty much a complete and utter asshole, those who dislike them try to paint them as Satan incarnate. It doesn't matter if this is Hugo Chavez, Putin or Blair. Same reasoning applies, show them to be powerful, yet utterly evil.
Does anyone actually fall for that shit? Really?
Because to me, it looks like those on the other side are just affirming the power of the person they hate, from an opposite direction. Powerful people will always have vocal supporters, simply because being on side with those in power has many rewards. The moral character, or lack of it, is rarely questioned along the entire political spectrum, what with people being convinced their own political ideology is the only moral one.
Lets face it, if you really want to cut someone down to size, you have to make them a figure of fun.
Its the only antidote to emotionally fuelled political debate, which is 90% of all debate nowadays. Instead of affirming the object of your dislike is powerful, you portray him as a bumbling fool. You highlight the hilarious inconsistencies in their thinking, and you then convince people around you to laugh at them. Never directly engage in so-called debates on the pros and cons of any given policy, instead concentrate on using those policies as ammunition against that person.
I know what you're going to say. “But people have already tried this Cain, and it hasn't worked.” Well I disagree, they haven't tried hard enough. Look at those ridiculous Bushisms people, for example. The book turned from halfway amusing into textual analysis of policy in about 10 pages. There was no cutting edge to it, there was no satire. It was just the idiotic sayings of a man who commanded the world's most powerful military. The world has seen Caligula's before now. The only way they laughed at them is in a helpless “well, we're fucked now” way. There was no opposition, no defiance.
There is an old American proverb, “use your wit as a shield, and not as a dagger.” Its one I totally disagree with. Use your wit precisely as you would a dagger. Back in the bad old days of the Hashishin, an acolyte would be given only a dagger, to make a public execution of the cult's enemies. Almost always, they struck in the most public place possible, in the most public way possible. Friday, outside the mosque, with everyone watching.
That is exactly the attitude a competent political agitator should take. If you can't mock them to their face, perhaps you should take up a safer past time, like jogging? Cut them down to size. Make them a figure of ridicule. Try to move outside party based bullshit, make their supporters look like idiots by association.
A person who is widely considered a laughing stock is not going to command respect, regardless of how much power they have. And in an age where substance is nothing and image is everything, in such an age, humour is king.
Jan 31, 2008
Never Forget
It has been exactly one year since that terrible day. That day when terror, in the guise of a slick marketing campaign, was visited upon Boston. That day, when the Boston police showed that, for all practical purposes, LED lights and wires in a box can be just as devestating as an army at the borders. That day, when we learned about the Fifth Column of cartoonists within our borders, who even now seek to undermine us.
In short, on this terrible date, 365 days ago, we learnt what is was to fear the Mooninites.
Never forget!
In short, on this terrible date, 365 days ago, we learnt what is was to fear the Mooninites.
Never forget!
Jan 30, 2008
Housekeeping
That's my nickname for stuff I should be linking to but haven't got around to yet, because I'm incurably lazy.
Anyway, first thing on the list is Cramulus is running a Discordian poster campaign with a bit of a difference. If you want to know more, go to this link.
Secondly, if you have the time and are interested, sign up to The Process Underground to spread chaotic memes. Nautilus11 from the site kindly brough it to our attention on Principia Discordia a few days ago, and it seems promising.
Thirdly, you may remember way back on Halloween I posted a link to the GPod episode by Milford Connolly of Garden of Truth. It seems that Joesph Matheny has updated the El Centro page to include many of the documents of the game (or mind-control conspiracy, if you believe Connolly's take on it). Anyway, there is more documentation and an interview of Matheny there worth listening to, so if El-Centro interests you, check it out.
Lets see...anything else? Oh yes, the two blogs of the moment, in my book. First, the reasonable conservative political pundit, Jon Swift. When he writes, it almost makes me want to sign up and become a Republican.... and also, I know I mentioned Rigorous Inuition before, but the link I gave was to the old website. The new one, and links to the forums etc can be found here, if above average conspiracy research is your thing.
I think that just about covers it for now. Enjoy.
Anyway, first thing on the list is Cramulus is running a Discordian poster campaign with a bit of a difference. If you want to know more, go to this link.
Secondly, if you have the time and are interested, sign up to The Process Underground to spread chaotic memes. Nautilus11 from the site kindly brough it to our attention on Principia Discordia a few days ago, and it seems promising.
Thirdly, you may remember way back on Halloween I posted a link to the GPod episode by Milford Connolly of Garden of Truth. It seems that Joesph Matheny has updated the El Centro page to include many of the documents of the game (or mind-control conspiracy, if you believe Connolly's take on it). Anyway, there is more documentation and an interview of Matheny there worth listening to, so if El-Centro interests you, check it out.
Lets see...anything else? Oh yes, the two blogs of the moment, in my book. First, the reasonable conservative political pundit, Jon Swift. When he writes, it almost makes me want to sign up and become a Republican.... and also, I know I mentioned Rigorous Inuition before, but the link I gave was to the old website. The new one, and links to the forums etc can be found here, if above average conspiracy research is your thing.
I think that just about covers it for now. Enjoy.
Jan 17, 2008
Public Warning: Parody and satire sites might not be truthful!
Thanks to Cainad for the tip-off on this.
Now, I'm more of an Encyclopedia Dramatica fan, I have to admit. I like my humour to have some bite to it, to be a little bit dark and morbid, as well as lulzy. But Uncyclopedia is not only not a bad site, it has just gone up highly in my estimation, for making the Malaysian government start shitting bricks. For those of you unable to see the declaration, for whatever reasons, I shall copy the badly translated site below:
And of course, in this digital age, treating adults like idiots who cannot tell satire from reality (well, barring some rather bizzare comments from the US Administration, as part of their War Against Irony) is only going to provoke a hilarious response. Here are some bloggers comments on the Department of Homeland Security's apparent inability to understand humour. Here, and here and here and a fair few more not in English (and so not linked to).
Uncyclopedia's own Internal Security Department has struck back with this warning, that;
Clearly a stern rebuke. I intend to email the Malaysian Government to see if they are willing to comment on this story. I'm not sure if a lowly blogger such as myself can expect a reply, but its worth a shot. I also intend to ask them if there is a Malaysian word for "parody", and if not if there is one for "crimethink" instead. "NO HAVING FUN IN MALAYSIA, YOU MIGHT HURT THE GOVERNMENT'S FEELINGS!" etc.
Just another day on planet of the irrational apes...
Now, I'm more of an Encyclopedia Dramatica fan, I have to admit. I like my humour to have some bite to it, to be a little bit dark and morbid, as well as lulzy. But Uncyclopedia is not only not a bad site, it has just gone up highly in my estimation, for making the Malaysian government start shitting bricks. For those of you unable to see the declaration, for whatever reasons, I shall copy the badly translated site below:
Department of Homeland Security confirmed http://www.uncycloedia.org/wiki website provides not true message, and published containing insults, contempt and awareness of the content of Malaysia, the Department issued a statement today urges public concern.
Statement pointed out that the site was on January 5, 2005 Recommendation for WIKIA operated by the company, the world's leading Wikipedia website (Wikipedia) also belong to this company, but the site has not spread the right message, and These erroneous information has been widely adopted, particularly from the United States print media.
Statement disclosed that the web site contains covers the country's history, culture, politics, Malaysian leaders, cabinet lineup, the national anthem and even the name of the national flag, characteristics, but are in fact contrary to the information of its validity.
In the statement, said that Malaysia would have been serious violations of the dignity of the network more irresponsible dissemination of the news of China's intention to distort the facts now enjoy peace, and attempts to split the country's political situation, to create a negative Malaysia image.
Authorities expect the statement to urge the public not to feel free to download and disseminate relevant website content, in order to avoid falling into the trap of heart.
And of course, in this digital age, treating adults like idiots who cannot tell satire from reality (well, barring some rather bizzare comments from the US Administration, as part of their War Against Irony) is only going to provoke a hilarious response. Here are some bloggers comments on the Department of Homeland Security's apparent inability to understand humour. Here, and here and here and a fair few more not in English (and so not linked to).
Uncyclopedia's own Internal Security Department has struck back with this warning, that;
PENANG, Uncyclopedia, Monday (UNN) — The Internal Security Department of the Uncyclomedia Foundation has identified Malaysia as a dangerous country which has messages and information containing insults, contempt and awareness of the content of Uncyclopedia. It warned its people not to use the country today.
The Internal Security Department warning says this is insulting Uncyclopedia and the country is spreading unresponsible news to twist the fact that Uncyclopedia now is a peaceful website and Malaysia tends to make a political separation in Uncyclopedia and cause a bad image of Uncyclopedia in the world. In the statement, said that Uncyclopedia would have been serious violations of the dignity of the network, more irresponsible dissemination of the news of Chinese Wikipedia's intention to distort the facts, now enjoy peace, and attempts to split the website's political situation, to create a negative Uncyclopedia image in the domain.
Through the warning notice the Internal Security Department of Foundation of Uncyclomedia wishes to ask the public not to download or spread the contents of this country, in order to avoid falling into the trap of heart.
Clearly a stern rebuke. I intend to email the Malaysian Government to see if they are willing to comment on this story. I'm not sure if a lowly blogger such as myself can expect a reply, but its worth a shot. I also intend to ask them if there is a Malaysian word for "parody", and if not if there is one for "crimethink" instead. "NO HAVING FUN IN MALAYSIA, YOU MIGHT HURT THE GOVERNMENT'S FEELINGS!" etc.
Just another day on planet of the irrational apes...
Jan 16, 2008
Livejournal Entry #1437
Today was really awful.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.
I'm so angry. Paul is grounded. AGAIN! And I'm not allowed to see him. EVER. It's just NOT FAIR. I hate my mom and I wish she was dead. This wouldn't happen if I was allowed to live with dad.
Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.
I want to tell the world to get fucked.
I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I'm not showing you psychos any pics
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.
I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.
I'm so angry. Paul is grounded. AGAIN! And I'm not allowed to see him. EVER. It's just NOT FAIR. I hate my mom and I wish she was dead. This wouldn't happen if I was allowed to live with dad.
Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.
I want to tell the world to get fucked.
I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I'm not showing you psychos any pics
I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
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