PSA for Young Earth Creationists

Please explain how the Universe came into being roughly 1,000 years after the Sumerians invented glue?

TIA.

Continuing to jump on the Scientology bandwagon

I thought you might enjoy this Youtube video someone from PD.com has given me links to. From everything I see and hear, this is 110% the Church of Science modus operandi for dealing with critics who wont shut up. 10 minutes long, enjoy.

Ah, bad old days...

Thanks to a post over at EB&G, I have been reminded of some rather fun and illuminating experiences that some of us forum-goers have had when when went over to the MysticWicks Pagan forum. As the title suggests, it all didn't turn out too well really...and since my IP is not banned from seeing the forum (praise Eris?) I can see some of the hilarity of the Pagans there who wanted to badmouth us.

They actually created a sub-forum for us over there, before we almost all got banned. But its odd, going there now. Its like some sort of hideous Black Mass of Discordianism, right down to Rant desecration and diabolical pacts with Authority.

Anyway, because I'm still on holiday and have some spare time, I thought it might be a good idea to list the most hilarious statements I can find in the MysticWicks Discordians, Subgenii and Tacos forum.

1. "I'm just sick of it. Every time I come to MW there's a new issue with you and a select group of Discordians. So you worship chaos, big fuging deal. Give it a rest already."

Try replacing Discordians with Wiccans and Chaos with Triple Goddess and let the accusations of persecution flood in. Also, hilariously, this with TGGR parodying the views of select forum members.

2. "Yeah, I have seen alot of it popping up on the boards. I also noticed that every time I see one [a Discordian], it seems to be laden with arguments and negativity. Something as simple as an introduction, turns into mayhem!! I'll pass on those threads and posts thank you, they take the enjoyment out of conversation. I have never seen as many arguments on the boards as I have since those posts have started. "

3. "We didn't set out to hurt Discordianism. We set out to rid our community of trolls. We hope our community will be a better place as a result."

90% of those "trolls" 'just happened' to be Discordians.

4. "Someone hacked into my ebay account. Loverly. Very mature. Guard your butt Ssanf, you've just painted a big old target on it."

Incidentally, none of us were behind the hacking.

5. "I think a couple of bad apples came in here, calling themselves Discordians (and I don't have any way to judge whether they really were or not) and they started baiting people and trying to cause more chaos than is strictly natural, and when the shit hit the fan they rallied some of the other Discordians around them because they were "being persecuted."

6. "Congratulations. This isn't the forum for Chaos. This is a sanctuary, not a factory."

Because Discordians...like factories? I don't get it.

7. "The most fatuous, manipulative, and venomous people to be found here are all of the discordian genre."

8. "A successful and a good discordian, is one who gets others angry, upset, and is skilled at mocking and belittling them.The better they are at it, the more they are respected by thier peers."

Partially true, but hardly the whole story (also, fixed for spelling and grammatical errors).

9. "A True Discordian does not spend all their time making sarcastic posts on internet forums. In fact, a majority of "Discordians" you see online are not really true Discordians, but nothing more than attention seekers."

Apparently reading the Principia once makes you an expert on what other people really believe too, at least going by the above poster.

10. "I've always, always regarded the Discordians as being people who chose to be Discordians because they can't be arsed to actually do any work to develop a relationship with a specific deity, they were too wishy-washy to choose just one path, and they just want to be a mishmash of everything and not have to work at learning about rituals or traditions or any such thing as that. "Oooh, I'm a Discordian! I can do whatever I want! Which means I can just SAY I'm a pagan but I never bother doing rituals or studying any kind of sacred texts or developing a relationship with deity, etc! I can go around and not be Christian, but I won't quite be anything else either because I just can't commit and I can't be ARSED to commit!"

Spoiled brats of the pagan world, I thought. I really don't have a lot of respect for Discordians. They just strike me as spiritually lazy."

Too hilarious to comment on.

11. "Just out of curiosity are any of you discordians raising or will raise your children in your beleif system?...I know silly question, of course you would, but with my experiences with Discordians and Chaos Mages lately I would be concerned for the child."

12. "mmm, it's like a troll breeding facility isn't it. Maybe there's an undergound complex like Area 51 where the genetically engineer them?"

Said in reference to EB&G forums

13. "In other words, Discordianism, like postmodernism, means never having to say your sorry."

14. "I'm starting to think discordian is just another word for annoying. It certainly doesn't seem to have any hallmarks of a consistent or coherent belief system."

15. "At least Satanists HAVE a worldview. After reading this thread, I'm convinced that discordians not only don't, but will actively mock anyone who does."

16. "Followers of Eris...I will not allow you to spread 'discord' in my forum just like I won't let Christians proselytize."

Because its practically the same thing, right?

Anyway, thats it for now. Digging around that place has left a rather bad taste in my mouth...

Operation Chanology: Cos Raids set for Feb 10th

If you hadn't already seen the blog entry done by The Madcap Laughs, let me direct you to it. Yes, Anonymous is going to be protesting outside the various cult centres of the CoS on February 10th, thats exactly one week from today.

Personally, I'm not taking part, because of aforementioned money troubles, and because the other people who I know who are going will likely try and drag me into a pub crawl afterwards - and I absolutely have to be up early the next day. But I'll be lending a hand to the Edinburgh protesters and will be there electronically, if not physically.

Also, since I like Anonymous and don't like the CoS, I've been trying to spread the word among various Discordian groups as well. As far as I know, there will be Discordians showing up at New York, Portland, Edinburgh, Melbourne and London, to give a helping hand. Probably some in other areas as well, but I only know so many people.

Anyway, if you want a definitive list of CoS centres that are going to be protested at, go here. So, if you happen to be free on the day, and are near one, go give a helping hand (mindful of the dress code, however). Its a good cause, after all....

Who is driving downed US spy-satellite?

HIMEOBS is driving downed US spy-satellite, according to an email from "Agent Rapier" that I recieved earlier today.

For those of you who don't know, a 10,000 pound US satellite is falling out of the sky, and is expected to land somewhere in the USA, with all its wonderful variety of toxic chemicals over the place.

Or is it? As mentioned above, I was contacted by a HIMEOBS agent and ordered to relay this message on my blog. So, as I promised, here it is, HIMEOBS' claims as to what is really going on (click to expand the image):

Ron Paul set to win Maine

According to the rumours I hear. Of course, I hear all sort of strange rumours from the Ron Paul camp, many of them unverifiable, but this doesn't come from them and seems to be well grounded. We all know Maine has a contingent of highly Libertarian Republicans, and that things can get a bit strange up there from time to time, so its not totally implausible.

You go, guys! Stick it to the Reptilian/Illuminati/Zionist/International Banking/NWO/Discordian conspiracy! KICK EM IN THA NADS!!!

Never Forget

It has been exactly one year since that terrible day. That day when terror, in the guise of a slick marketing campaign, was visited upon Boston. That day, when the Boston police showed that, for all practical purposes, LED lights and wires in a box can be just as devestating as an army at the borders. That day, when we learned about the Fifth Column of cartoonists within our borders, who even now seek to undermine us.

In short, on this terrible date, 365 days ago, we learnt what is was to fear the Mooninites.

Never forget!

Housekeeping

That's my nickname for stuff I should be linking to but haven't got around to yet, because I'm incurably lazy.

Anyway, first thing on the list is Cramulus is running a Discordian poster campaign with a bit of a difference. If you want to know more, go to this link.

Secondly, if you have the time and are interested, sign up to The Process Underground to spread chaotic memes. Nautilus11 from the site kindly brough it to our attention on Principia Discordia a few days ago, and it seems promising.

Thirdly, you may remember way back on Halloween I posted a link to the GPod episode by Milford Connolly of Garden of Truth. It seems that Joesph Matheny has updated the El Centro page to include many of the documents of the game (or mind-control conspiracy, if you believe Connolly's take on it). Anyway, there is more documentation and an interview of Matheny there worth listening to, so if El-Centro interests you, check it out.

Lets see...anything else? Oh yes, the two blogs of the moment, in my book. First, the reasonable conservative political pundit, Jon Swift. When he writes, it almost makes me want to sign up and become a Republican.... and also, I know I mentioned Rigorous Inuition before, but the link I gave was to the old website. The new one, and links to the forums etc can be found here, if above average conspiracy research is your thing.

I think that just about covers it for now. Enjoy.

Bolton's hard on for war with Iran

I sometimes wonder about John Bolton. I mean, firstly he has a silly moustache, and if WWII taught us anything, it is to never trust men with silly moustache's when it comes to politics. And he was Bush's choice for UN envoy, and we all know how much President Bush luuuuuuuurves the UN. On the other hand, he occasionally shows signs of higher cognitive functions, like when he was interviewed on BBC's Newsnight. He is an enimga, wrapped in bad facial hair.

Yesterday on Fox News he also decided to show his support for Giuliani and McCain. Ignoring Mr 9/11, according to the Israeli daily, Haaretz, McCain said "At the end of the day, we cannot allow the Iranians to acquire nuclear weapons." Not as quite as...um, outspoken as Rudy "Peace is Strength" Giuliani, but if he has the backing of Bolton, he obviously seems to think he'll do something about Iran.

Because Bolton really, really, really hates Iran. He hates it with that strange passion that only a man who has never personally had anything done to him by Iran can. Well except making him stall in giving information to John Kerry when Kerry was inquiring about the Iran-Contra issue. You can tell how much he hates Iran by how often he calls for it to be bombed. Maybe he's a fan of The Secret and hopes if he concentrates on it enough it will be true?

The Israelis apparently take him seriously, probably because they don't want to repeat the mistake of the last time they didn't take a man with a silly moustache seriously, but the National-Reviewista have apparently closed ranks in support of his position as well. And given how a Middle Eastern Discordian with a radio nearly started the war last month by trolling the US Navy while the Iranians were zipping around nearby, and the history of these guys when it comes to outright distortion and lying, I don't give Iran very good chances for 2009.

Ordung und Verwirrung

Pranking about

Just a heads up to let you know blogging may be fairly light for the next few weeks. Not only am I going to finish my degree and finally (at last) get my bloody Master's, I'll also have my hands full with the R U Sirius course Pranks and Pranksters, Tricks and Tricksters at Maybe Logic, and a couple of other little side projects.

That said, I'm about to launch into a blogging blitz, so you'll have plenty to catch up on should I be busy.

Update: actually, my circumstances don't look too good right now, so I've had to withdraw from taking part in this, not to mention make ramen noodles a staple part of my diet again. Stupid rent changes...anyway, best of luck to the rest of you who are involved in this, and let me know what you get up to.

Bill Hicks - Outlaw Comic

Can't come up with anything funny today, so instead I present one of the funniest comedians of the last decade, the late Bill Hicks, for your entertainment. Iconoclastic, rude, wickedly funny and utterly shameless, this documentary details his life and is worth watching for the clips alone. 7 parts in total, enjoy.

(Note: sound quality may be poor on some early clips, but they do get better)

Discordian polling

After the New York Times decided to come out in half-hearted support for McCain and Clinton, under the slogan of Iraq - 10,000 more years of occupation, Professor Cramulus decided to see where Principia Discordia's loyalties lay with a poll.

To make matters fair, voters were allowed to choose between Clinton, McCain, or a small basket of kittens as their choice for the next President of the USA, if the election were today. The results, as of posting this, are

McCain: 3 (13.6%)
Clinton: 1 (4.5%)
A basket of kittens: 18 (81.8%)

Sadly, this may be the most coherent and sensible statement on the political process thus far, although when you consider 95% of the media coverage, this would not be too hard.

The sky is falling in!

Oh yes it is. Unless you haven't been paying attention to the financial pages lately, you can't help but consider the purchase of sub-prime loans was perhaps carried by one Kallisti Corporation, or Golden and Apfel Import and Export for Illuminatus! fans.

Either way, financial chaos seems certain, at least for the immediate future. Eris is stalking the boardrooms and plauging CEOs and bankers with uncertainty. No-one knows where the sub-prime loans are, or exactly what banks have purchased the debt. So no-one wants to loan thei money out to other banks, let alone various industries and companies, which is kind of a problem when the global economy is dependent on the continual movement of cash and debt.

Although, so far, the panic is doing more than the actual markets themselves. Its not as bad as 1987, though it is as bad as the days immediately following 9/11. And the USA is teetering on the eddge of a recession, which could have some very interesting implications.

For example, let us consider the economic populism of a Huckabee, or Ron Paul. Both of them reject, in one way or another, the so-called NeoLiberal consensus. If the economic situation worsens, it could become quite a boost to their campaigns, especially when you consider all the other candidates are reading from the same playbook.

Closer to home, where the Neo-Liberal consensus has control of many of the major political parties, we should consider the case of the BNP, who pursue a Third Positionist/protectionist economy, partially to shore up support from the disaffected Left and partially because "TEH J0000000s" control international banking. Many Eurofascist parties, such as Vlaams Belang and the Swedish National Democrats, hold similar positions, and since they are already making headway by exploiting fear of Islam and especially focusing on economic immigration, this can only help them.

Of course, its not all bad. Perhaps this will help open up the debate on economic issues more fully, allowing more "discredited" or unusual theories to have a more thorough and critical looking at.

Perhaps.

Time will tell, anyway.

In the internet age, nothing is banned for long

Oh dear. It looks like the Church of Scientology decided both Tom Cruise and their expensive legal teams were not getting enough exercise, so they let the vertically challenged Messiah out of his cage long enough to embarass them on video, then sent in the legal team to clear up the damage and prevent it becoming a laughing stock.

Unfortunately, this is the age of the internet, and there are just so many unscrupulous people about, who will think nothing off making duplicates copywrited material and disseminating it around the internet for everyone to see. For example, I managed to find the below 2 links with just a few minutes of searching.

Download link one
Mirror link

Fortunately, its in .flv format, so not too many people will be able watch it without downloading some sort of free program.

Interestingly enough, the internet has decided to declare War on Scientology as well. At least, the parts of it on the various 4chan spin-off sites, including the HACKERS ON STERIODS of Fox News infamy. Along with mass dissemination of the Tom Cruise video and Scientology texts, there have been DDoS attacks against the Scientology site as well, which reportedly was down for a while. Operation Chanology has a lot of manpower and is even more amusing than the Church of Scientology, so I wish it well.

The Trap of the Heart Part 2: The blogger strikes back

The Malaysian government, as successfully predicted by one of the kind commentators in the country, has failed to comment on the Trap of the Heart debacle. However, I think they underestimated me and my ability to dig up information via my own sources.

Now, I don't like to make a big deal of it, but in my current studies, I often meet a lot of international government personnel. Most usually, its a talk and afterward drink session with some Cultural Attache who's gotten bored with London, and sometimes its slightly more involved or knowledgeable individuals. Anyway, I heard from one of my people an interesting story which sheds a whole new light on the Uncyclopedia/Malaysis drama....

"The problem is far more serious than most people seem to believe. Its been passed off in the media, that which has noticed it, as nothing more than a misunderstanding, when it seems that there is no small amount of mystery and deceit involved. According to a source within MISS, the cause of this entire upset is an American called Dobbs, and the rabbit hole goes much deeper than an inability to tell humour from reality. John R. Dobbs, a civilian contractor and analyst associated with the CIA, is accused by the Malaysians of gross malfeasance in what was supposed to be an ad campaign for boosting tourism revenue within the country. Mr. Dobbs who has a long history with the Malaysian government, is accused of embezzling $2.6 million intended for a public relations campaign. Instead the Malaysian Bureau of Exports and Tourism was given an inaccurate and unflattering description on Uncyclopedia.org, an open, free, and typically accurate online encyclopedia.

Dobbs allegedly used the money to buy a controlling share in a Malaysian pharmaceutical company manufacturing and marketing “penis enlargement pills” to the southeast Asia market. Laboratory testing has shown a link between prolonged usage of the pills and elevated risk of impotence and sterility. Adding insult to injury, Dobbs' used CIA propaganda techniques to spread fear of a "Koro" outbreak (which means "head of the turtle" in Malay). Koro or “penis panic” is the fear in certain cultures of a disease or curse which causes men's genitals to shrink and eventually disappear. It was assumed that Koro would increase the sales of the male enhancement pills. Apparently the Malaysian government in coordination with the CIA, had been using Koro-panics as a non-chemical means of population control for several decades.

Now Kuala Lumpur is attempting damage control, denying allegations of involvement with Dobbs in any way other than as a private marketing consultant. Apparently trying to distance themselves from him, while denying their involvement with numerous Koro outbreaks in the past. It appears that MISS is trying to keep a lid on the problem by using heavy-handed tactics to stem the tide of allegations coming from all sides."

I don't know what to make of it, but, rather like an alternate reality version of Fox News, I only report what I hear, and let you, the people, decide.

More shameless self-promotion

Baron von Hoopla has put up his interview of me (Eris knows why) we did earlier in the week on his blog. The theme is Discordianism and politics, in particular a look at Thornley's involvement in the Kennedy Assassination. Well, as much as I know on the topic anyway, which was mostly gleaned from The Dreadlock Recollections and hanging around conspiracy types. Anyway, enjoy and feel free to comment.

Public Warning: Parody and satire sites might not be truthful!

Thanks to Cainad for the tip-off on this.

Now, I'm more of an Encyclopedia Dramatica fan, I have to admit. I like my humour to have some bite to it, to be a little bit dark and morbid, as well as lulzy. But Uncyclopedia is not only not a bad site, it has just gone up highly in my estimation, for making the Malaysian government start shitting bricks. For those of you unable to see the declaration, for whatever reasons, I shall copy the badly translated site below:

Department of Homeland Security confirmed http://www.uncycloedia.org/wiki website provides not true message, and published containing insults, contempt and awareness of the content of Malaysia, the Department issued a statement today urges public concern.

Statement pointed out that the site was on January 5, 2005 Recommendation for WIKIA operated by the company, the world's leading Wikipedia website (Wikipedia) also belong to this company, but the site has not spread the right message, and These erroneous information has been widely adopted, particularly from the United States print media.

Statement disclosed that the web site contains covers the country's history, culture, politics, Malaysian leaders, cabinet lineup, the national anthem and even the name of the national flag, characteristics, but are in fact contrary to the information of its validity.

In the statement, said that Malaysia would have been serious violations of the dignity of the network more irresponsible dissemination of the news of China's intention to distort the facts now enjoy peace, and attempts to split the country's political situation, to create a negative Malaysia image.

Authorities expect the statement to urge the public not to feel free to download and disseminate relevant website content, in order to avoid falling into the trap of heart.

And of course, in this digital age, treating adults like idiots who cannot tell satire from reality (well, barring some rather bizzare comments from the US Administration, as part of their War Against Irony) is only going to provoke a hilarious response. Here are some bloggers comments on the Department of Homeland Security's apparent inability to understand humour. Here, and here and here and a fair few more not in English (and so not linked to).

Uncyclopedia's own Internal Security Department has struck back with this warning, that;

PENANG, Uncyclopedia, Monday (UNN) — The Internal Security Department of the Uncyclomedia Foundation has identified Malaysia as a dangerous country which has messages and information containing insults, contempt and awareness of the content of Uncyclopedia. It warned its people not to use the country today.

The Internal Security Department warning says this is insulting Uncyclopedia and the country is spreading unresponsible news to twist the fact that Uncyclopedia now is a peaceful website and Malaysia tends to make a political separation in Uncyclopedia and cause a bad image of Uncyclopedia in the world. In the statement, said that Uncyclopedia would have been serious violations of the dignity of the network, more irresponsible dissemination of the news of Chinese Wikipedia's intention to distort the facts, now enjoy peace, and attempts to split the website's political situation, to create a negative Uncyclopedia image in the domain.

Through the warning notice the Internal Security Department of Foundation of Uncyclomedia wishes to ask the public not to download or spread the contents of this country, in order to avoid falling into the trap of heart.

Clearly a stern rebuke. I intend to email the Malaysian Government to see if they are willing to comment on this story. I'm not sure if a lowly blogger such as myself can expect a reply, but its worth a shot. I also intend to ask them if there is a Malaysian word for "parody", and if not if there is one for "crimethink" instead. "NO HAVING FUN IN MALAYSIA, YOU MIGHT HURT THE GOVERNMENT'S FEELINGS!" etc.

Just another day on planet of the irrational apes...

ATTN Creationists, New Age bullshiters and all religious fundies

Livejournal Entry #1437

Today was really awful.

I got out of bed really late because my alarm clock has broken and I cannot afford a new one at the moment.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so angry. Paul is grounded. AGAIN! And I'm not allowed to see him. EVER. It's just NOT FAIR. I hate my mom and I wish she was dead. This wouldn't happen if I was allowed to live with dad.

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I'm not showing you psychos any pics

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.